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GAL’AXY CHATS

Elise Nelson & Wilson McDermott

First Serve

MARKETING MASTERS, SOCIAL MEDIA MAVENS & JOHN MAYER FANS

Elise and Wilson began their marketing agency, First Serve, during the pandemic, when they saw the need in the market for a boutique agency to manage the social media accounts for growing businesses who didn’t understand or know how to manage platforms like Instagram.

Close friends and both recovering corporate workers, they seized an opportunity to work creatively together, address an underserved market with a niche set of services and skills and have a blast while doing it.

Elise is our Pisces, born on March 16 and Wilson is a lovely business partner compliment as a Libra (September 21).

Wilson McDermott & Elise Nelson of First Serve

Birth Chart Analysis

Elise’s Midheaven is in Gemini, clearly making any profession in communications a natural fit for her. She brings an effortless curiosity to her work, and is genuinely intrigued by a diversity of subjects (likely her clients’ businesses!) With her IC in Sagittarius she is wise beyond her years, naturally intelligent and capable. With Mars conjunct her IC there’s a naturally strong leader in her as well; a take charge attitude that creates confidence in those who have to rely on her.

Her 10th house is partially occupied by Cancer, lending her a helpful quality in the workplace as well. She’s ambitious and nurturing all at the same time. She likely understands that for business owners it’s not only about the dollars and cents, it’s also about the pride and effort that has gone into growing something they want to see succeed.

Wilson’s Midheaven falls in the strong Leo, making any career that’s forward-facing, or about public appearance, a natural fit for her. With a slice of the structured, perfectionist and goal-driven Virgo in her 10th house as well, she likely brings a sense of organization and attention to detail to every project.

10th house Virgos require mental stimulation and variety, much like that of a Midheaven Gemini, so both Elise and Wilson do well to work with clients in varied industries. They both are naturally able to understand the nuances of different professionals and companies.

They also happen to be very funny and a blast to hang out with!

Read on for their full interview and to see where John Mayer (almost) came into the mix!

Who or what inspires you the most in your work?

W: Do you mean who or what distracts me the most from my work? That would be my three small children

E: Wilson gave me the push I needed to do this but it is also inspiring to see how many people have a need for what we offer

Biggest strength?

W: My honesty. And my appetite.

E: Ability to listen to others

Weakness?

W: Overalaysis. And my appetite.

E: I have a hard time saying no

How did you two come to work together?

W & E: We met on the tennis court, hence our business name First Serve. It turns out we had crossed paths on many occasions, and even came to discover our grandmothers are friends!

When did you know that your passion was/could become your career?

W & E: When we were getting individually inundated with requests to help with social media

Why is cohesive branding and marketing so important these days, and who, in your opinion, needs the most assistance with it?

W&E: Everyone turns to the internet/social media when they need anything, nowadays. If you want your brand to stick out and get noticed, it has to look good. If you want it to look good, a cohesive layout is paramount. Pick a look and stick with it- consistency has always, and will always be, key. Everyone could use help with their branding… it took us weeks to settle on our own logo and aesthetic! And that wasn’t without the help of family and friends in the graphic design and arts field. The more input the better.

Most famous person you’ve met:

W: Bruce Springsteen

E:  Donald Trump

What does First Serve do better than anyone else?

E & W: We’re truly a boutique business in that we are there to hold the hands of our clients and walk them through the process. Our goal is to help them reach their goals. If they need us to handle everything for them, we cover them completely. If they are uncomfortable with the social media platforms, but looking to learn more, we teach. And then everything in between. Our logo creation and page layout/design is one of our strongest suits… we love finding a way to set each account apart from their competitors and peers alike.

Is there one achievement/award/campaign you’re most proud of, and why?

W & E: I think both of us would agree that motherhood is the hardest and most rewarding thing we’ve ever done.

What is the most important thing companies (and individuals) should consider when it comes to branding?

W&E: Consistency is key. Establishing your aesthetic and using it across your branding will set you apart. Also, don’t be so serious! People like to see raw & real moments, be yourself!

How has the concept of marketing evolved over time, specifically for women, in a way you think gives us more or less opportunity?

In the days of Mad Men, everything was done in person. All of the prep work was done up front and then presented to a group for approval. It’s so different now- so much more streamline, and we are all afforded the opportunity to communicate freely with our clients which allows for a lot more efficiency and a better end product. Women never really played a large part in the presentation portion of things back in those days, but they were still heavily involved behind the scenes. I’d say we’ve definitely worked our way to the forefront, and deservedly so.

Worst rejection you’ve ever experienced:

W: John Mayer, 2009

E: That reminds me. . . I tried out for an Oscar Mayer Weiner commercial when I was little, I didn’t get the job

What has been the most surprising about running your own business?

E&W: How hard it is

Closest you’ve come to death?

W: I was very sick when I was 10- misdiagnosed and allegedly hours away from death.

E: When my car spun around during a snowstorm and I was facing I-84 in the wrong direction

Prior to now, best job you ever had:

W: Sales Trader at KBW

E: Account Executive @ NBC in Boston

Favorite show currently or last show you binge watched?

W & E: We both just binged Firefly Lane, it was cute

Song on repeat?

W:Kill the Lights, Jess Glynn

E: Anything Kygo

Books on the bedside table?

W: Maybe someday

E: Just my phone & remote

Current indulgence/guilty pleasure?

W & E: Playing paddle

Most useful business resource:

 W &E : instagram

Favorite part of your job:

W: Getting to work with my friend, and making my own money for the first time in a while. It is very empowering.

E: Of course laughing with Wilson everyday. Also making my own schedule and meeting fun new people along the way!

Most challenging part of your job:

W: Trying to juggle being at home with the kids and accomplishing all of the tasks at hand. There aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done.

E: Finding the perfect balance between work, life & family life. Since we don’t work traditional office hours it is hard to turn things off!

Have you ever disliked something and changed your mind?

W: Avocados

E: I hate changing my mind, so I try not to.

Best parenting hack:

W: Locks on doors

E: Hire the babysitter

How do you take your coffee?

W: Decaf, a lot of sugar and regular milk

E: Iced with whole milk, or hot with a little half & half.

If you’re in need of some social media guidance or marketing assistance, these are the women you want to know!

You can reach them through, obviously, their instagram account, @firstservemktg or through email: firstservemktg@gmail.com.

xo

Rebecca

[jetpack-related-posts]

Wellness

Kin Euphorics

The Future of Revelry

So like anyone, I love a good cocktail (the ones I’ve posted here through Sagittarius and Capricorn season can attest to that!) but I also really don’t drink that much these days.

I can’t recover from alcohol the way I used to, and with my migraines, sometimes alcohol can be a trigger. So imagine my INSANE EXCITEMENT to stumble across Kin Euphorics! They present themselves as “The Future of Revelry” and from their branding (logo, packaging) to their advertising (moody, emotional, yet high-brow and intellectual-feeling), to their actual product (Kin is cruelty and alcohol-free, and is packed with mood-altering and enhancing adaptogens that “elevate the spirit and relax the body”) and let me tell you folks… it’s seems like it, but it’s not too good to be TRUE!

With three offerings, Kin Spritz (an easy-to-drink carbonated euphoric), High Rhode (their version of the Aperitif) and Dream Light (a relaxing night cap kind of drink) you’ll find something that will make you feel good, while tasting awesome and leaving no after effects in the morning.

If you’ve followed my Wellness posts, you know how into Adaptogens I am, and Kin uses these stress-reducing, nervous-system altering, natural mood adjusters in their recipes. Wow, right!?

Kin Spritz is my go-to, just pop and pour! It’s bubbly, not too sweet and easy to drink! I’m a huge fan and I only need one to feel relaxed, happy and like there’s not a care in the world.

High Rhode and Dream light require you to do a little mixing, but using flavored seltzer, or plain seltzer and fresh organic juice is about as complicated as you need to get! These bottles come with mixing recipes included so it takes the guess work out of it for you! I used blood orange seltzer for High Rhode and it was perfect! Added a little sprig of Rosemary as garnish and voila – Easy-peasy!

The box even came with a candle and “The Kindling Kit” a deck with 31 cards that outline meditations, provide thought-provoking questions and recipes. It’s so well packaged and presented, I really couldn’t ask for more… Well, maybe for them to keep it in stock! The Spritz is currently Sold Out (!!!) but I’d advise you get on the “Notify Me” list immediately!

The fact that we’re moving into a time where we don’t have to compromise having a fun evening, being able to imbibe and relax but without sacrificing our health, or even our complexion (alcohol is one of the main contributors to premature aging) and most importantly, not feel the after effects of a night with friends …. to actually “have it all” and be able to work and/or parent the next day!? Well, I say “Cheers!” to that!

xo

Rebecca

[jetpack-related-posts]

MOTHERHOOD

On Idols, Values and Growing Up

My four year old is obsessed with Taylor Swift, and I have to say, I really don’t mind it. Of all the young female artists out there today, Taylor Swift would probably have been my first choice for her to crush on!

As a woman, having daughters in the age of social media, instant gratification, the commoditization of the female form and with so much emphasis being placed on how we look and present ourselves, it can be so intimidating to know how to steer them toward the right values.

I grew up in an era where the girls I looked up to were pretty innocent: Winnie from the Wonder Years, Topanga from Boy Meets World… the edgiest I got was Kylie Minogue! We’ve come a long way from there, and it’s hard to impose the same expectations on our children to see the world the same way we saw it; it’s not the same world. And as much as we want to lament the way things have changed, our past is not our children’s future but we can share in how we help them perceive the current moment.

… it’s hard to impose the same expectations on our children to see the world the same way we saw it; it’s not the same world. And as much as we want to lament the way things have changed, our past is not our children’s future… but we can share in how we help them perceive the current moment.

When Gigi first started talking about Taylor Swift and we started listening to her music, it was just for fun, for dancing, in the car… but she saw a music video playing on my phone along with one of the songs and a whole new world opened. We watched a few together and she was able to put together the lyrics with what she saw being performed in front of her.

Taylor Swift has come a long way herself in terms of self-expression and I’m happy to share many of her values of equality (in terms of gender, race, sexual identity and orientation among others) and to see her express confidence and lack of confidence in her music is refreshing.

We want so much for our little girls to grow up fierce and fearless, but what are we without our fear? What are we without heartbreak? Without rejection? Most of Taylor’s creativity comes from her ability to have an open-mind and search for meaning and lessons in her experiences. I certainly don’t want my daughter to fear growing up, but I do want her to know that being afraid is ok, and sometimes it’s exactly what we need to feel; it’s protecting us, guiding us, it’s one of the languages of our intuition.

We want so much for our little girls to grow up fierce and fearless, but what are we without our fear? What are we without heartbreak? Without rejection?

Women are multifaceted and in our quest for equality it seems we’re being asked to trade our femininity for ambition, our softness for perseverance, and our feelings for analysis. Why can’t we have both? There is dark in the light, and light in the dark, and even though Gigi is young, she can already understand that it’s ok to have both – in fact, it’s healthy to have both.

Women are multifaceted and in our quest for equality it seems we’re being asked to trade our femininity for ambition, our softness for perseverance, and our feelings for analysis. Why can’t we have both?

Gigi and I also watched Miss Americana, the Netflix documentary on Taylor Swift and Gigi was fascinated… specifically by how she worked and we had endless conversations in the weeks that followed about how she wrote songs, how she learned music… I was able to explain to Gigi that people have natural talents, but even with talent, you can’t get very far without hard work.

In a world where things arrive on your doorstep within 24 hours of pushing a button, how else can we expect our children to see the world? “I want something, and it appears.” Work ethic and effort are such important values to instill and I’ll take any context I can get to show my kids how important that quality is and what it can do for you.

Work ethic and effort are such important values to instill and I’ll take any context I can get to show my kids how important that quality is and what it can do for you.

When looking at both of their natal charts, Gigi’s and Taylor’s have a tremendous amount of synastry, indicating that there is understanding. The specific connection that made me smile was that Gigi’s Sun (Taurus, 9th house) trines Taylor’s Neptune (Capricorn, 1st house). A Sun trine Neptune synastry indicates a “soul connection” based on deeper understanding and mutual aspirations. Gigi can see a lot of her own ambitions expressed through Taylor’s creativity.

Gigi’s Sun also trine’s Taylor’s Mercury and Saturn (both also Capricorn, 1st house – none of Taylor’s placements are surprising! Ha!) This also indicates that Gigi “gets” her and her work on a level that feels synchronistic and familiar. I am a big believer that the people (famous and not) that we aspire to emulate or that inspire us to “chase our dreams” play a big role in our evolution and development.

I am a big believer that the people that we aspire to emulate or that inspire us to “chase our dreams” play a big role in our evolution and development.

Studying the charts of our “idols” – even retrospectively as adults – in synastry, show a lot about what we look(ed) to in other people we maybe can’t/couldn’t interact with, but feel/felt connected to. In my opinion this exposes a lot about how we see our potential as we tend to admire those that exemplify our earliest impressions of success and reflect characteristics back at us: either characteristics we lack, or the ones we need to see reinforced in action in the world (i.e. “All I need to do is ___” and/or “Wow! I can do __ too!”) It helps us form touchstones for development, even if our path looks very different, which it always certainly does. 

Studying the charts of our idols… exposes a lot about how we see our potential as we tend to admire those that exemplify our earliest impressions of success and reflect characteristics back at us.

Who were your idols growing up? Was there a theme? Have you ever considered them and how they effected your perception of yourself or your capabilities? Comment below!

xo

Rebecca

[jetpack-related-posts]

GAL’AXY CHATS

Nadine Naue

Aquarian, Model, Stylist, Momprenuer, and Femme Extraordinaire

Nadine is a master at many things. One of them, is her homemade Matcha – the making of which is a simple but beautiful ritual that I have the good fortune to be on the receiving end of, when we have a cup from time to time.

I met Nadine through a mutual friend, and, like with most Aquarius women, I was enamored, intimidated and instantly adoring of her unique style, her confidence, her authentic self-expression and her ability to completely accept everyone exactly as they are.

I should also mention, my Libra sun is happy as clam to chat all day long with her about ALL the things… literally, everything. We once spent 12 full hours at a day spa and I don’t think we stopped talking the entire time! So, if you don’t have an Aquarius in your friend group, I suggest you find one immediately! And if you need a friend and a stylist, then simply call Nadine!

Originally from Munich, Germany, Nadine now lives in New Jersey with her wonderful husband, George, their five year old son, Jasper and their new puppy, Juno. Nadine started her styling business, Notes From Nadine, a couple of years ago now (along with a number of other projects in design and styling) and astrologically, it’s clear why she’s on this specific path.

Birth Chart Analysis

When it comes to Nadine’s career choice, you could say her career chose her and organically evolved and you would be right… and her birth chart echoes that story. Looking at her chart is looking at a destiny threaded with creative artistry, individual expression and entrepreneurial spirit.

Nadine’s moon is in Aries in her 10th house, so she feels her most invigorated when she’s involved in exciting, challenging or new experiences. Her need for travel and and exploration (hello, international modeling career!) isn’t simply wanderlust.  In her case, it’s actually her need to satisfy her emotional body, which is something like a pioneer: it needs new experiences and undiscovered frontiers in order to grow. Lucky for her in the 10th house, the house of career, which also rules how we see ourselves, our public persona and our life’s work, this can be fulfilled through new work endeavors and projects … (something which Nadine has plenty of!)

As an Aquarian sun, she’s already an innovator, but this is echoed in her 10th house Aries moon placement, a signature that also makes her VERY good at getting things off the ground. Aries is the sign of the initiator; action and beginnings are born of Aries placements (as are many entrepreneurs.)

Nadine’s Midheaven (which also rules our career and life’s work) falls in Pisces, with Mars and Venus conjunct. This conjunction alone indicates Nadine’s ease in the public eye and the charm she so effortlessly exudes. But maybe more importantly, this is where Nadine’s inner artist comes through. AND it’s why her work and her life are so intrinsically intertwined. She can’t divide her private life from her work: her purpose is part of how she’s built, it’s not a function of what she does or the skills she earns over time. 

With a Midheaven in Pisces her private, most intimate feelings are channeled through her work and Mars conjunct the Nadir gives her ambition and drive and is part of why she developed a such a strong sense of self and independence from a young age.  With the addition of Venus conjunct the Nadir as well, she also has a romantic view of, and an intensified love for the work she does.

Innately Nadine’s work is tied to her high destiny with her Pluto in Scorpio in the 5th house. Her destiny lies in creative work, and it puts her center stage. 

This is just the beginning for Nadine; I’m so happy you will all have a chance to know her a bit more..

Read on for her full interview.

Who inspires you the most in your work?

People who enjoy leaving their comfort zone.

What was it like to travel all over the world as a model?

Exciting, inspiring, mind opening, scary, lonely…best thing I could have ever done at the time!!!

Favorite place? Because?

I absolutely cannot pick one. I’ve seen so many beautiful places that are so different and that I adore for different reasons. My “Heimat” which is around Munich (Germany) because I love mountains and the whole culture around being outdoors, Paris because of the architecture, fashion and street cafe culture. Myconos (Greece) because it’s so picturesque and has crystal clear turquoise water and great night life. Barcelona also because of the architecture, it’s extremely laid back (hello, siesta!) and the beach culture.

When did you know that your passion was/could become your career?

When other people pointed it out to me!

Most famous person you’ve met:

Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Jay – Z, Cara Delevigne, Matthew Broderick

Where is the strangest place you (or someone else) has seen your image?

A magazine cover that was for sale in a antique/vintage store… That was one of the moments I couldn’t help but feel old!

Tell us a joke:

Eventually, everyone will be quarantined to their houses with no sports to watch…and in 9 months from now a boom of babies will be born…and we will call them “Coronials.“

Is there one achievement/award/campaign you’re most proud of, and why?

I think I’m most proud of stepping out of my comfort zone constantly, being open for new ventures and challenges.

Why do you find fashion, styling and clothes so empowering?

It’s just another piece of “the puzzle.” It matters just as much as how you care what food you put in your body, what beauty products you put on your skin, how you stay in shape. It’s all about self-worth and how you show up for yourself!!

How has fashion evolved for women over time in a way you think gives us more or less control?

We can express ourselves and show who we are more than ever! There is less judgment around what is acceptable f.e. how short a skirt can be or how tight or oversized….in terms of styles we have every freedom f.e. classic, athleisure, masculine, super feminine, sexy, colorful & bold, minimalism… All these styles are in “fashion” — you can really be you and the only rule is that the clothes should fit you properly and make you feel your very best self!!

Worst rejection you’ve ever experienced:

I probably felt more rejection in my private life, just like everybody else when you try to develop relationships or friendships. In the fashion industry I realized very early on that “rejection” is not personal. At the end of the day, as a model you need to sell a product or a feeling, and it can be as simple as that the product just looks better on a blonde or the blouse falls better with a bigger bust or that you still look too young for that anti-age moisturizer your are auditioning for. It’s really not that personal therefore it doesn’t feel like rejection.

What has been the most surprising about running your own business?

How hard it is to turn off your head, stop thinking about work and being more present in the moment.

Closest you’ve come to death?

Fainting and being unconscious for a little too long!

What’s in your purse right now?

Face mask, hand sanitizer, wallet, sunglasses, gloves, little make up bag.

Favorite show currently or last show you binge watched?

“The Morning Show” on Apple+ TV.

Song on repeat?

“DREAMS” by Fleetwood Mac

Books on bedside table?

Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

ONE beauty product you would take to deserted island:

Avène tinted SPF 50+++

First kiss:

Ha! Cute, innocent and stiff.

Current indulgence/guilty pleasure?

Spicy chips!

Most useful business resource:

Other female entrepreneurs.

Favorite part of your job:

Traveling, meeting and really getting to know different kinds of  people, helping.

Most annoying part of your job:

Marketing/Selling

First stamp in your passport when you can fly freely again?

GERMANY!

First celebrity crush:

Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic!

Current celebrity crush:

Do influencers count? @camillecharriere @alisontoby @giorgiatordini @ninasandbech

Have you ever disliked something and changed your mind?

Yes! Caviar…never cared for it before but recently tried Beluga caviar and really liked it!

Best parenting hack:

Empty card board boxes.

How do you take your coffee?

I only really drink Matcha but when I do drink coffee I would add either whole or oat milk.

Thank you for joining us!

Make sure to visit Nadine at: www.notesfromnadine.com, @notesfromnadine or at www.glamhive.com (where you can book a digital styling experience!)

xo

Rebecca

Photography by: Jessica Lee

Styled by: Nadine Naue

[jetpack-related-posts]

MOTHERHOOD

Parenting: It’s a Lifting Game

Like everyone else this past summer during the pandemic, bored and frustrated at the lack of options to socialize, exercise and do just about anything resembling something normal, I took up the only hobby deemed “totally safe” by the CDC: Tennis. 

In fact, my entire family took up, or returned to, tennis. Except for the baby, although, truth be told, she spent many an afternoon at someone’s lesson running around picking up loose tennis balls and having the time of her life. #buythemnothing

Our summer included a lot of tennis, and a lot of parenting. No camp meant long days with all five kids (then aged 14-1) which also meant managing tantrums, attitudes, needs, wants and desires that ranged a 13 year age gap. It was intense. But everyone loved tennis. I was the last to get on board with it (my Uranus in Sagittarius in the 1st house makes me hesitate to be a follower in any regard) but I folded and eventually joined in. 

Our summer included a lot of parenting… which meant managing tantrums, attitudes, needs, wants and desires that ranged a 13 year age gap.

Surprisingly though, I quickly came to enjoy it, but for some reasons I really never expected.

My tennis coach constantly says, “Tennis is a lifting game: low to high, and follow through.”  

The insane amount of parenting advice I can take from that one tidbit of coaching, is incredible.

My tennis coach constantly says, “Tennis is a lifting game: low to high and follow through.” The insane amount of parenting advice I can take form that one tidbit of coaching, is incredible.

I’ve read my fair share of parenting books: Last Child in the Woods, Negotiation Generation, Nurture Shock, No Drama Discipline, Happiest Baby on the Block, The Whole Brain Child, Bringing Up Bebe… Well, a LOT of books. All of them, in one way or another, try to answer the trickiest question that every new parent asks of every veteran parent they know: “What’s the hardest part about parenting and how do I circumvent it?”

As if.

But earnestly, these books address and try to solve, the most common themes parents struggle with: lack of sleep, loss of self, sacrifice, not knowing the answers, balance of technology and nature, fear of making a mistake, and so on.

My husband and I together are just now 15 years into the parenting experience, and if you asked us, our answer would be the same thing my tennis coach reminds me over and over on the court: lifting low to high, and following through.

I’ve read my fair share of parenting books… [they all try] to address and solve the most common themes parents struggle with: lack of sleep, loss of self, sacrifice, not knowing the answers, balance of technology, and so on.

Parenting is a lifting game. You are constantly fielding things you’re not ready for, trying to gauge how fast they’re coming at you, how to respond and react in the moment, getting in underneath them before it’s too late and you’ve missed the opportunity, meeting them at just the right angle and sending them back into the world up and over the net, not smashed down into the ground or tangled up in a confusion of cord.

And how do you do that? You connect on their level (compassion and empathy), you raise them up (support, resource and guidance) and you follow through (creating and enforcing boundaries). 

My husband and I together are just now 15 year into the parenting experience, and if you asked us, our answer would be the same thing my tennis coach reminds me over and over on the court: lifting low to high, and following through.

Simple, right? Well… here’s the thing:

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again and again: it is *always* easier to be a lazy parent. And the hardest part, like I said, is following through. And following through means sticking to your boundaries. Enforcing your values and holding your standards.

How do you do that? You connect on their level (compassion and empathy), you raise them up (support, resource and guidance) and you follow through (creating and enforcing boundaries).

It’s always easier to go back on your boundaries. To not be consistent and let them “have their way.”  To see them feeling frustrated or upset and not fully engage. To not actually leave the birthday party because they’re being disrespectful and unkind, even though you said you were going to (maybe more than once). It’s always easier to not enforce boundaries, or heck, maybe not even set them… but it can blow your game in the long run (we have a teen and a pre-teen, trust me). Plus, it’s a bad habit. 

Whether it’s sleep training, potty training, behavior modification, working on sibling dynamics, manners, hygiene, respect, independence, responsibility-building or organizational skills, without the follow through, you won’t see much of a change without that persistence. Even if you can meet them where they’re at (compassion and connection) and lift them up (support, resource and guidance) you won’t get far without that follow through; just like in tennis, you can do it all right and if you miss that last part, you’re way off course.

Follow through comes from knowing limits and teaching them to your children. It’s not about punishment or consequence really; it’s about connection, compassion and understanding when it’s time to reign it in.

Follow through comes from knowing limits and teaching them to your children. It’s not about punishment or consequence really; it’s about connection, compassion and understanding when it’s time to reign it in.

One of the biggest shifts I saw as a parent was to acknowledge my children’s outbursts or meltdowns as a signal they were sending to me that they were overwhelmed and couldn’t identify their own limits, and needed me to give them those boundaries… to bring them into a place of control and safety. Even if they would struggle against that safety and control the whole way, it’s what they need and what they’re asking for.

Parenting feels hard, because it is hard. It has moments of glory, moments of pure beauty, but it’s mostly a challenge, especially during the younger years. But that’s why it is so worth the effort; because there is direct correlation.

All of our kids are immensely different. And while I think we have always been pretty good about meeting them at their level, finding ways to encourage, inspire or motivate them as need be, with each of them, the hardest part of parenting them has been following through. Sticking to and enforcing our boundaries. Because it hurts, because it’s hard. Because in the moment, it feels uncomfortable, perhaps unnatural. But it makes all the difference.

Parenting feels hard because it is hard. It has moments of glory, moments of pure beauty, but it’s mostly a challenge, especially in the younger years. But that’s why it is so worth the effort; because there is direct correlation.

It is *always* easier to be the lazy parent. So every time you follow through, know you are choosing to do the hard work and showing up for your children in the best way you possibly can.

How do you find setting and enforcing boundaries for your kids? I’d love to hear what works for you!

xo

Rebecca

 

[jetpack-related-posts]

ASTROLOGY

Aquarius Season:

COVID, Cohorts and Your House of Common Cause (11th house)

Let’s talk about friends. What a strange world it is, making friends as an adult. Even stranger, is the skill it takes to make new friends as a mother, because some friendships become somewhat encouraged by your child’s natural friendships, and some get harder if your kids don’t exactly sync in personality, age or even school district. 

I will say as a mom of 5 ranging in ages from 15 to 2, the ages where friendships feel necessitated by your kids’ friends is a short one, mostly lasting in the grade school days, because, lets face it, your baby and toddler will hang with pretty much whoever, and once your kid is old enough to be dropped off for play dates, well, you don’t have to be friends with the other kid’s mom, just “friendly”… But, back to where we started. They say, “it takes a village,” but they never say where that village is, or how to get there. 

What a strange world it is, making friends as an adult. Even stranger, is the skill it takes to make new friends as a mother.

When I had my first baby I was very young, living in Manhattan where the average age for most mothers is 35 – I was over a decade younger than that. My now husband and I were unmarried at the time and so, ringless and young I was often mistaken for the nanny and so many of my promising initial playground conversations turned to awkward encounters where I was being questioned about my “full-time status with the family I worked for”… needless to say that never led to many follow-up play dates. 

My husband tried to introduce me to the wife of a friend of his; she was a good 13 years older and after a double date to dinner where I confessed that most of my friends were still out barhopping and I really didn’t have any mom friends at all and I was SO LONELY, she kindly sponsored me to join the HRPMamas – and it opened up the world – the first world – of social media moms to me. Facebook was barely a thing then, Instagram wasn’t even born at that point, and here was this PLACE (on email) where OTHER MOMS WERE and I HAD ACCESS TO THEM. I was so grateful and thus started my journey of mom-friending. 

We’ve moved a bunch over the years and having a number of kids spanning the ages has allowed me to curate some invaluable and unbelievably close friends in a number of different places, but I always felt a little out-of-place in the area where we seemed to always return to settle, here in New Jersey. But I eventually found a group of unique, entrepreneurial, independent, strong, tolerant, intelligent, kind, international women and it has made such a difference for me. For most of them, their oldest is my fourth’s age, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference, and we all have this fluid connection that feels easy and respectful.

[Having a group of friends nearby] was always something I felt like I needed. Not wanted, but something that my soul really called out for. But why?

During some of my lonelier times my husband would encourage me by saying, “You have me, you have your college friends, and close friends around the country… and you’ll always have us, you don’t need a group of friends nearby.” But it was always something I felt like I needed. Not wanted, but something that my soul really called out for. But why? So… here’s why knowing where your 11th house is in your chart and how it can help you understand yourself as a social being. The 11th house, rules our friendships, is our house that bridges us to the collective and common cause. It’s where we connect outwardly. 

[Finding] a group of unique, entrepreneurial, independent, strong, tolerant, intelligent, kind, international women… has made such a difference for me.

I’m a Libra and my Sun (my life force) lives in my 11th house. Ruled by Aquarius this double airy match up puts a VERY strong emphasis on the social connections in my life. I like to create and spearhead social events (even better if they have a humanitarian side to them!) and share the fun with the people I enjoy the most. Like any good Libra I’m always seeking balance so it’s no surprise that my close social group is equally represented by all four of the elements – air, water, fire and earth. With Libra ruling my 11th house I bring an intimacy, depth and loyalty to my friendships too; I’m all in as a friend; there’s very little that will be flaky about my approach to socializing with the people who are in my close group. And I really only want a close group; I don’t have interest in surface friendships (how Libra/Sun/11th house is THAT!?).

For me personally, [with my sun in the 11th house] my social expression is a necessity, and in order for me to be healthy, I need connection… I’m [also] always seeking balance, so it’s no surprise that my close social group is equally presented across all four of the elements – air, water, fire and earth.

For me personally, my social expression is a necessity, and in order for me to be healthy I need connection. COVID has been really hard and we have been fortunate to have a great group of like-minded families we’ve been able to cohort with. This has allowed us and our children to have a semblance of normalcy here and there, where we can create some “normal” feeling experiences.

Knowing that social connection was vital for my wellbeing was so important for me to understand and to be able to communicate to my husband and navigate this difficult time. Creating compassion and empathy around things I was struggling with and knowing where the feelings came from made them much easier to address. As I always say, astrology doesn’t change what is, but it does confirm what is and give you valuable insight that can prepare you to make healthier and better choices and understand where your needs are coming from. 

Creating compassion and empathy around the things I was struggling with and knowing where the feelings came from made them much easier to address.

Where is your 11th house? What rules your 11th house? What planets reside there? What house falls under Aquarius for you? What planets reside there?

There is SO much information available to you to understand the nature of your social being and needs. What would you like to know!?

xo

Rebecca

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COSMIC COCKTAIL

Irish Coffee

A perfect New Year’s Eve drink, if you ask me. Especially because everyone is staying in… right!? Capricorns are crazy ambitious, so caffeine is always part of their day in one form or another! Why not as an after dinner drink!?

The Irish Coffee is really surprisingly easy and really comforting too. So good after such a year.

Ingredients

  • Hot Water
  • 1.5 Ounces of Whiskey
  • 1 Ounce of Brown Sugar Syrup
  • Freshly Brewed Coffee
  • Whipped Cream for Garnish

Instructions

Preheat a mug by filling with hot water. Let sit for two minutes, then discard the hot water. Pour the whiskey and brown sugar syrup into the mug and top off with freshly brewed coffee. Top with fresh whipped cream (and cinnamon if you’d like!)

Happy New Year to all!

xo

Rebecca

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SATURDAY SPELL

Self Purification / Aura Cleansing

Self purification, or cleansing the aura/personal energy field is a different ritual than clearing your home or extended energetic field. Just as smudging your home and self-smudging each require a different mindset and approach, so does this ritual.

This is a relatively simple practice that focuses on balancing the nervous system through decompression, relaxation and gentle stimulation. Natural and safe, I have turned to this bath-time recipe at numerous moments throughout the years and found it incredibly effective at aiding me in releasing negative feelings, bringing me back to neutral and adjusting internal dialogue from self-deprecating to something much more compassionate.

Self purification, or cleansing the aura… is a different ritual than clearing your home… [it] is a simple practice that focuses on balancing the nervous system through decompression, relaxation and gentle stimulation.

A good option following arguments of all kind, break-ups and any time you experience rejection, this herbal bath can do wonders to rid your energy space from negativity and make room for forward momentum around whatever circumstances have brought you to a place of needing to purify.

Ingredients

  • Rosemary Oil
  • Lavender Oil
  • Fresh or Dried Orange Slices
  • Fresh or Dried Rose Petals (or Rose Oil)
  • Fresh or Dried Thyme (Or Thyme Oil)
  • (Optional) Coconut Oil and Epsom Salts (for moisturizing and detoxifying)

Instructions

Draw a hot bath and add 6-10 drops of Rosemary (for calm), 6-10 drops of Lavender (for relaxation and cleansing), sprinkle in Thyme (or 4 drops of oil, to relieve mental exhaustion), 6-10 slices of Orange (fresh or dried, for gentle stimulation), 2-3 handfuls of Rose Petals, Rosebuds or 4 drops of Rose oil (for anxiety and stress relief as well as self-love and beauty).

As you add these elements to the water, you can choose to repeat a mantra if it feels appropriate and right. I usually chose something that focuses on the letting go of the energy I am carrying and focusing on building a sense of security, something along the lines of:

May the water and these herbs melt away negativity, bring in self-love and forgiveness. I am safe, I am love. All will be well. Everything shall pass, no feeling is final.

It’s so important to find time to emotionally re-balance when we encounter negative experiences and/or energy. Something simple and focused like this is all it takes to clear out our own fields. While some find meditating in and of itself difficult or inaccessible for a number of reasons, turning a bath into an energetic cleansing is an easy way to achieve this without taking on a spiritual practice that feels so much bigger.

Let me know if you use and how it works for you!

xo

Rebecca

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COSMIC COCKTAIL

The Sleigh Driver

Capricorns are direct, to the point and while they know they’re fabulous, they oftentimes have no interest in wasting time on the frills! That’s why the Screwdriver is a great Capricorn season cocktail.

But it’s the holidays, so we have to step it up a notch! Hello, Sleigh Driver!

Ingredients

  • 1.5 ounces Vodka
  • 3 ounces Blood Orange Juice
  • 3 ounces Pomegranate Juice
  • Pomegranate Seeds (optional for garnish)
  • Blood Orange Slice (optional for garnish)

Instructions

*Screwdrivers are usually served in a highball glass, but I made these in a Collins glass because I thought it would show off the layering so much better!

If you’re going to fresh squeeze the blood oranges, start there. Also fine to use pre-squeezed juice too!

In a collins glass filled with ice, first add the pomegranate juice, followed by the blood orange juice, topped off with the vodka. Garnish with pomegranate seeds on top and a slice of blood orange on the rim!

Ho Ho Ho! & Yum Yum Yum!

Merry Christmas Eve!

xo

Rebecca

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WEDNESDAY WELLNESS

Adaptogen Series Five

Happiness Tonic

Organic and wildcrafted, Anima Mundi’s Happiness Tonic is one of the best ways to bring good feelings in! It is credited with “stabiliz[ing] hormone function, serotonin and dopamine, as well as provid[ing] a soothing effect on the nervous system.”

The adaptogens rhodiola and ashwagandha, along with powerfully supporting “happy herbs” like st. johns wort, mucuna and albizzia manage stress in the system and bring peace and feelings of well-being.

There have been some intense times this year and this happiness tonic, along with Anima Mundi’s Mucuna powder (which I wrote about in last week’s post) it has definitely helped with managing stress and the happy vibes in our house.

One of the benefits of working with adaptogens is that they are organic, natural and have no side effects and I can use them with my kids! The Happiness Tonic has helped in times of overdue stress. All you need is 1/2 tsp directly on the tongue or in water, juice, coffee or tea.

It’s an easy way (and you KNOW I’m all about the easy!) to get a nice shift in mood in a natural way!

I have ONE more Adaptogen post next week and then I’m going to move into a series on healing, based on your astrological chart! So get excited for that, because it’s very cool. See you next week!

xo

Rebecca

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