On Idols, Values and Growing Up
My four year old is obsessed with Taylor Swift, and I have to say, I really don’t mind it. Of all the young female artists out there today, Taylor Swift would probably have been my first choice for her to crush on!
As a woman, having daughters in the age of social media, instant gratification, the commoditization of the female form and with so much emphasis being placed on how we look and present ourselves, it can be so intimidating to know how to steer them toward the right values.
I grew up in an era where the girls I looked up to were pretty innocent: Winnie from the Wonder Years, Topanga from Boy Meets World… the edgiest I got was Kylie Minogue! We’ve come a long way from there, and it’s hard to impose the same expectations on our children to see the world the same way we saw it; it’s not the same world. And as much as we want to lament the way things have changed, our past is not our children’s future but we can share in how we help them perceive the current moment.
… it’s hard to impose the same expectations on our children to see the world the same way we saw it; it’s not the same world. And as much as we want to lament the way things have changed, our past is not our children’s future… but we can share in how we help them perceive the current moment.
When Gigi first started talking about Taylor Swift and we started listening to her music, it was just for fun, for dancing, in the car… but she saw a music video playing on my phone along with one of the songs and a whole new world opened. We watched a few together and she was able to put together the lyrics with what she saw being performed in front of her.
Taylor Swift has come a long way herself in terms of self-expression and I’m happy to share many of her values of equality (in terms of gender, race, sexual identity and orientation among others) and to see her express confidence and lack of confidence in her music is refreshing.
We want so much for our little girls to grow up fierce and fearless, but what are we without our fear? What are we without heartbreak? Without rejection? Most of Taylor’s creativity comes from her ability to have an open-mind and search for meaning and lessons in her experiences. I certainly don’t want my daughter to fear growing up, but I do want her to know that being afraid is ok, and sometimes it’s exactly what we need to feel; it’s protecting us, guiding us, it’s one of the languages of our intuition.
We want so much for our little girls to grow up fierce and fearless, but what are we without our fear? What are we without heartbreak? Without rejection?
Women are multifaceted and in our quest for equality it seems we’re being asked to trade our femininity for ambition, our softness for perseverance, and our feelings for analysis. Why can’t we have both? There is dark in the light, and light in the dark, and even though Gigi is young, she can already understand that it’s ok to have both – in fact, it’s healthy to have both.
Women are multifaceted and in our quest for equality it seems we’re being asked to trade our femininity for ambition, our softness for perseverance, and our feelings for analysis. Why can’t we have both?
Gigi and I also watched Miss Americana, the Netflix documentary on Taylor Swift and Gigi was fascinated… specifically by how she worked and we had endless conversations in the weeks that followed about how she wrote songs, how she learned music… I was able to explain to Gigi that people have natural talents, but even with talent, you can’t get very far without hard work.
In a world where things arrive on your doorstep within 24 hours of pushing a button, how else can we expect our children to see the world? “I want something, and it appears.” Work ethic and effort are such important values to instill and I’ll take any context I can get to show my kids how important that quality is and what it can do for you.
Work ethic and effort are such important values to instill and I’ll take any context I can get to show my kids how important that quality is and what it can do for you.
When looking at both of their natal charts, Gigi’s and Taylor’s have a tremendous amount of synastry, indicating that there is understanding. The specific connection that made me smile was that Gigi’s Sun (Taurus, 9th house) trines Taylor’s Neptune (Capricorn, 1st house). A Sun trine Neptune synastry indicates a “soul connection” based on deeper understanding and mutual aspirations. Gigi can see a lot of her own ambitions expressed through Taylor’s creativity.
Gigi’s Sun also trine’s Taylor’s Mercury and Saturn (both also Capricorn, 1st house – none of Taylor’s placements are surprising! Ha!) This also indicates that Gigi “gets” her and her work on a level that feels synchronistic and familiar. I am a big believer that the people (famous and not) that we aspire to emulate or that inspire us to “chase our dreams” play a big role in our evolution and development.
I am a big believer that the people that we aspire to emulate or that inspire us to “chase our dreams” play a big role in our evolution and development.
Studying the charts of our “idols” – even retrospectively as adults – in synastry, show a lot about what we look(ed) to in other people we maybe can’t/couldn’t interact with, but feel/felt connected to. In my opinion this exposes a lot about how we see our potential as we tend to admire those that exemplify our earliest impressions of success and reflect characteristics back at us: either characteristics we lack, or the ones we need to see reinforced in action in the world (i.e. “All I need to do is ___” and/or “Wow! I can do __ too!”) It helps us form touchstones for development, even if our path looks very different, which it always certainly does.
Studying the charts of our idols… exposes a lot about how we see our potential as we tend to admire those that exemplify our earliest impressions of success and reflect characteristics back at us.
Who were your idols growing up? Was there a theme? Have you ever considered them and how they effected your perception of yourself or your capabilities? Comment below!
