COVID, Cohorts and Your House of Common Cause (11th house)
Let’s talk about friends. What a strange world it is, making friends as an adult. Even stranger, is the skill it takes to make new friends as a mother, because some friendships become somewhat encouraged by your child’s natural friendships, and some get harder if your kids don’t exactly sync in personality, age or even school district.
I will say as a mom of 5 ranging in ages from 15 to 2, the ages where friendships feel necessitated by your kids’ friends is a short one, mostly lasting in the grade school days, because, lets face it, your baby and toddler will hang with pretty much whoever, and once your kid is old enough to be dropped off for play dates, well, you don’t have to be friends with the other kid’s mom, just “friendly”… But, back to where we started. They say, “it takes a village,” but they never say where that village is, or how to get there.
What a strange world it is, making friends as an adult. Even stranger, is the skill it takes to make new friends as a mother.
When I had my first baby I was very young, living in Manhattan where the average age for most mothers is 35 – I was over a decade younger than that. My now husband and I were unmarried at the time and so, ringless and young I was often mistaken for the nanny and so many of my promising initial playground conversations turned to awkward encounters where I was being questioned about my “full-time status with the family I worked for”… needless to say that never led to many follow-up play dates.
My husband tried to introduce me to the wife of a friend of his; she was a good 13 years older and after a double date to dinner where I confessed that most of my friends were still out barhopping and I really didn’t have any mom friends at all and I was SO LONELY, she kindly sponsored me to join the HRPMamas – and it opened up the world – the first world – of social media moms to me. Facebook was barely a thing then, Instagram wasn’t even born at that point, and here was this PLACE (on email) where OTHER MOMS WERE and I HAD ACCESS TO THEM. I was so grateful and thus started my journey of mom-friending.
We’ve moved a bunch over the years and having a number of kids spanning the ages has allowed me to curate some invaluable and unbelievably close friends in a number of different places, but I always felt a little out-of-place in the area where we seemed to always return to settle, here in New Jersey. But I eventually found a group of unique, entrepreneurial, independent, strong, tolerant, intelligent, kind, international women and it has made such a difference for me. For most of them, their oldest is my fourth’s age, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference, and we all have this fluid connection that feels easy and respectful.
[Having a group of friends nearby] was always something I felt like I needed. Not wanted, but something that my soul really called out for. But why?
During some of my lonelier times my husband would encourage me by saying, “You have me, you have your college friends, and close friends around the country… and you’ll always have us, you don’t need a group of friends nearby.” But it was always something I felt like I needed. Not wanted, but something that my soul really called out for. But why? So… here’s why knowing where your 11th house is in your chart and how it can help you understand yourself as a social being. The 11th house, rules our friendships, is our house that bridges us to the collective and common cause. It’s where we connect outwardly.
[Finding] a group of unique, entrepreneurial, independent, strong, tolerant, intelligent, kind, international women… has made such a difference for me.
I’m a Libra and my Sun (my life force) lives in my 11th house. Ruled by Aquarius this double airy match up puts a VERY strong emphasis on the social connections in my life. I like to create and spearhead social events (even better if they have a humanitarian side to them!) and share the fun with the people I enjoy the most. Like any good Libra I’m always seeking balance so it’s no surprise that my close social group is equally represented by all four of the elements – air, water, fire and earth. With Libra ruling my 11th house I bring an intimacy, depth and loyalty to my friendships too; I’m all in as a friend; there’s very little that will be flaky about my approach to socializing with the people who are in my close group. And I really only want a close group; I don’t have interest in surface friendships (how Libra/Sun/11th house is THAT!?).
For me personally, [with my sun in the 11th house] my social expression is a necessity, and in order for me to be healthy, I need connection… I’m [also] always seeking balance, so it’s no surprise that my close social group is equally presented across all four of the elements – air, water, fire and earth.
For me personally, my social expression is a necessity, and in order for me to be healthy I need connection. COVID has been really hard and we have been fortunate to have a great group of like-minded families we’ve been able to cohort with. This has allowed us and our children to have a semblance of normalcy here and there, where we can create some “normal” feeling experiences.
Knowing that social connection was vital for my wellbeing was so important for me to understand and to be able to communicate to my husband and navigate this difficult time. Creating compassion and empathy around things I was struggling with and knowing where the feelings came from made them much easier to address. As I always say, astrology doesn’t change what is, but it does confirm what is and give you valuable insight that can prepare you to make healthier and better choices and understand where your needs are coming from.
Creating compassion and empathy around the things I was struggling with and knowing where the feelings came from made them much easier to address.
Where is your 11th house? What rules your 11th house? What planets reside there? What house falls under Aquarius for you? What planets reside there?
There is SO much information available to you to understand the nature of your social being and needs. What would you like to know!?